


Flight Cancelled

by RJ_Hastings



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Ragehappy Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 00:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJ_Hastings/pseuds/RJ_Hastings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flight Cancelled </p><p>Flight Cancelled </p><p>Flight Cancelled </p><p>Flight Cancelled </p><p>Flight Cancelled Flight Cancelled Flifhjdfkfdnvkjnvjkf…. </p><p>No matter how many times he looked at the screen, the words wouldn’t change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flight Cancelled

**Author's Note:**

> To the gift receiver (videogameboyfriends on tumblr): I sincerely hope you enjoy this. I had tons of fun writing it, and though I asked for an extension to complete it, I hope you know that I worked tirelessly on it. Happy holidays~ 
> 
> \---
> 
> (can also be found on my tumblr: therearenohooksinme under the "my writing" link) 
> 
> *Note: I changed Millie's name in this fic because it has been asked that she not be included in fics.

**Monday Dec. 16 th**

_Flight Cancelled_

_Flight Cancelled_

_Flight Cancelled_

_Flight Cancelled_

_Flight Cancelled Flight Cancelled Flifhjdfkfdnvkjnvjkf…_

No matter how many times he looked at the screen, the words wouldn’t change.

When he’d left home, the weather had been fine, nice even. Though it was the middle of December, the city of Austin, known for its mild winters, had been gifted with cold enough temperatures to give birth to a rare snowfall where the white flakes piled up more than a foot and lasted more than a day. Austin became a winter wonderland overnight.

It was perfect weather for snowball fights, building forts, sliding down hills, and hot drinks to warm up afterwards. And really, it was perfect weather to leave behind, was what Gavin had thought when he’d first spied the snow falling outside his window. He thought the same thing when he’d later watched the flakes fall from inside the Austin airport after arriving for check in, but the idyllic imagery of it all didn’t last long. His thoughts changed when the gentle snowfall grew into a freak storm that covered the airport grounds, and the rest of Austin, in blankets and blankets of snow and ice until the scenery resembled what Gavin had come to liken to what he’d seen north of the Wall in Game of Thrones. And as he watched the airport’s employees brave the high speed winds from the safety of the indoors, he shuddered on their behalf. It looked bloody awful out there. 

Gavin’s next thoughts were all about how he was to get home. It wasn’t as if he could call Geoff and get him to pick him up. The head idiot in charge of their merry band of video game connoisseurs had packed up and left with his darling wife and child three days ago having put his faith in Gavin to get himself to England on his own since he had, much to the surprise of his fellow employees, buckled down and booked his own nonstop flight from the Bergstrom in Austin to Heathrow in London. It’d taken a lot of mentally kicking himself to not procrastinate on that task and, had things gone according to plan, after arriving in London Gavin would have taken a train directly to Oxford where his family would be expecting him. Imagining the disappointment on their faces, particularly on that of his mum’s, made Gavin feel worse than he’d already been feeling.

“Bloody fat chance I’ll be able to do that now.” Gavin grumbled to himself as he tried to get comfortable in his seat at the terminal. His flight was supposed to have left an hour ago, but like countless others, it’d been grounded by the storm. Halfway into the hour after that, Gavin had called for Burnie to pick him up.

Since Geoff was already gone on his vacation Burnie had been the one to ferry Gavin and his luggage to Bergstrom. They’d driven from Rooster Teeth as Burnie had had some last minute things to take care of before he could drop Gavin off, but Gavin hadn’t been worried then. Now though, the fact that their company building was only twenty minutes away was something Gavin was counting on. Because without Geoff, the other man was Gavin’s only way of getting home.

Five minutes after Gavin had ended the call, Burnie had texted him saying he was stuck in traffic, but that he’d be there as soon as he could. It was a paltry reassurance, but it was better than nothing. Focusing on waiting for Burnie to arrive made Gavin antsy though, so he’d pulled out his battered copy of Clash of Kings to bide his time. By the time he’d realized he’d been stuck on the same paragraph over and over without really reading the words, his phone buzzed.

_Burnie: Hey Gavino, I’m outside where I dropped you off_

_Gavin: thanks see you in a bit_

With that done Gavin marks his page in his book and then uses his phone to make a long distance call to his family. Disheartened by the fact that he hears a voicemail greeting instead of an actual human voice, but not entirely discouraged, he leaves a message explaining the situation as best he can. When he’s done he shoves his phone back into his pocket and hopes that they get his message so they don’t have to worry. Heaving a weary sigh, he then gathers his bags and leaves the terminal.

\---

Up close the landscape looked worse, and the gusting winds had him squinting as he trudged over to Burnie’s car practically leaning into the blizzard to remain upright. Thankfully Burnie had gotten out and helped him get his bags into the trunk, and the interior of the car was wonderfully warm when he slid into shotgun. The cold had bitten him down to the bone and it took a majority of the slow drive back to the company for his extremities to not feel numb. His only real piece of winter gear was his thick jacket and even then it had done nothing to protect him from the elements. He could have worn his insulated gloves if they hadn’t been packed away into his suitcase in anticipation for the freezing cold of Mother England. So he sat on his hands and warmed them with the car’s seat warmers. His fingers were red and tingling by the time they pulled up in front of the building with the sign that declared OOSTRETH as several of the letters were buried under snow.

\---

Both men were sopping wet by the time they got into the building. While Burnie went off in search of towels to dry the both of them off, Gavin waited in the pseudo lobby as cold water dripped from his hair down onto the back of his neck and slowly soaked the collar of his shirt. Looking around Gavin had no idea why he hadn’t noticed it before, but with half of the lights turned off and the halls devoid of people, Rooster Teeth Productions was incredibly eerie. He nearly jumped a mile in the air when he heard a noise come from the kitchen.

“Hello?” Gavin called. He wasn’t afraid to move towards the noise, but he was wary. Shoulders tense and teeth clenched, Gavin took a step forward. And then he took another and another and another until he was at the end of the hall, just outside the kitchen.

“Hello, anyone there?” Gavin asked again. A minute passed and no one answered. Two went by and Gavin was so nervous he dared not breathe. When five minutes had ticked by Gavin’s worry bled into frustration. “God’s sake,” He began with more bravado than he felt, “Burnie if that’s you messing about in there, I swear I’ll-”

“You’ll swear you’ll do what?” A voice asked to his right and Gavin did jump a mile then.

“Bloody fucking christ!” Gavin shouted as he took a quick step back, but the floor was wet with melted snow and he slipped. Luckily, before he could go crashing to the floor, a hand shot out and grabbed onto Gavin’s wrist, tugging him into a warm, broad chest.

“Michael was right; it is a treat to hear you swear. Absolutely delightful, is what it is.” The voice remarks drolly and Gavin prepares a scowl for the owner. When he looks up to give it he finds Ryan staring down at him. Some traitorous part of Gavin’s mind notes that Ryan’s eyes are a very nice shade of blue. Icy blue, bottle blue, blue of the Texas sky at dusk. Oh fuck.

“Ryan? What are you still doing here?” Gavin struggles to get the question out, but Ryan waits patiently until he’s done.

“I was just stock piling some things so I don’t have to do any work over the holiday. What about you? I thought you were supposed to fly out today.” A perplexed frown turns the corners of Ryan’s lips down and Gavin licks his winter dried lips.

“Well I was, but a minging storm grounded all of the planes.” Ryan’s lips quirk at his terminology, but Gavin isn’t ticked that his co-worker finds his misfortune funny. He’s worked with the same five guys long enough to learn a few things about them, but he was still in the dark about Ryan. They never hung out as often as Gavin went out with Michael or Geoff, or even bloody Ray. Getting an amused reaction outside of work was very different from making everyone else, along with Ryan, laugh at whatever he’d cocked up midgame. It was, for lack of a better word, nice.

“That sounds unfortunate.” Ryan concedes just as Burnie rounds the corner, arms laden with fluffy looking towels. It’s then Gavin realizes that Ryan hasn’t let go of his arm. In fact, the pad of his thumb circles the inside of his wrist and Gavin resists a shiver even though he’s been out of the cold long enough for some parts of his clothing to dry and cling to his skin.

“Took you long enough, Burns.” Gavin says as he slowly wrenches himself out of Ryan’s grip. The warmth radiating from him had been lovely, but it made his mind all cloudy. With Burnie’s return comes clarity and he steps away from Ryan to reach for a towel. He realizes, with relish, that it’s warm to the touch.

“Sorry about that Gav. I figured it’d be better if the towels were warm so I stuck them in the dryer for a bit.” Gavin lets out a noncommittal noise.

“It’s okay. It was a good idea.” Gavin says reassuringly as he scrubs the towel over his face and hair. When he pulls the towel off his head, some locks of sandy hair fall into his face. He tries to blow them away, but all his effort does is leave him breathless and tired.

“Bollocks.” He complains and someone chuckles.

“C’mere Gavin.” Blindly Gavin turns in the direction of the voice, spinning back into Ryan’s arms. He tries not to show his surprise when the older man brushes the hair out of his face, tucking some of the longer strands behind his ears.

“Oh, uh. Thanks Ry- Uh.” Heat rises to his cheeks as he stutters. Ryan just chuckles again and places a hand on Gavin’s shoulder.

“Of course.” Says Ryan as if he doesn’t know what the warmth soaking from his hand, through Gavin’s shirt and into his skin does to Gavin.

“Jesus Haywood, don’t break him. Do you know how much it costs to import European twinks?” Burnie asks his voice muffled from behind the towel he uses to dry himself off. Ryan just hums contemplatively, hand slipping off Gavin’s shoulder to stroke his chin.

“Hm, no. But I can’t imagine it being cheap.”

“Oh fuck no. I had to pay a couple thousand to get his visa petition expedited. I mean it was money well spent, but Jesus…”

“Well now Burnie, way to make a lad feel good about himself.” Gavin grumbles and Ryan snickers. Burnie just shrugs unapologetically.

“Eh, your being here has made up for it.” Burnie says with such nonchalance that Gavin is left a little dumbfounded. He turns away from Burnie then and when he looks around, he finds Ryan’s gaze on him. There’s a peculiar weight to his stare that has heat rising to Gavin’s cheeks which makes him frustrated because it had just subsided. He buries his face in his towel partly to avoid making eye contact with him and mostly because he still needs to dry off.

As Gavin scrubbed the last of the melted snow and ice from his hair, his mind wandered to Ryan. Ryan and how his presence did stupid things to Gavin’s brain. Thinking of him made Gavin lose himself, made him veer very close to that cliff known as infatuation and it was frightening and exhilarating all at once. It was like Ryan was the flame and Gavin was the moth that just couldn’t keep away. Hedonism was what Ryan had called it during a let’s play. And when Gavin had asked for an explanation he’d said it was “the indulgence of pleasure.” Gavin remembered that he’d balked at that, had laughed it off and then said something to shift the focus off of him and back onto the game. But he also remembers feeling Ryan’s curious gaze linger on him before refocusing on his TV screen.

Long ago, before Ryan had joined Achievement Hunter and Team Gents was short a member; it used to be the same way with Michael. Michael Jones with his auburn curls, freckled cheeks, and smarmy grin. The thought of him used to make Gavin’s heart race. The memory of his raucous laugh echoed in Gavin’s ears, and the sheer pleasure he felt just by sitting next to him at work kept him awake night after night. But when it came down to it, Gavin had realized what he felt was just an intensely strong manifestation of friendship. A bromance, some would say. But really, spending time with Michael, working with Michael, talking about Michael; it was all nice. Very nice. But when his, sometimes alcohol soaked, brain drifted to thoughts of the two of them slotting their mouths together, or even sleeping together, Gavin felt disturbed. Sure they flirted jokingly, said things like “I’d count your teeth with my tongue” and called each other “boy,” but the idea of making ‘Mavin’ real didn’t appeal to him.

Besides Michael had Lindsay. And, to tell the truth, they were the office dream team. Neither took shit from anyone, they both had wicked senses of humour, and Lindsay’s natural kindness and Michael’s vulgar vocabulary seemed to jumble up into a perfect package. They’d married in the spring and after several months as husband and wife it was Michael’s first Christmas as a married man. Despite some initial griping, he was spending his vacation time with his new wife and her family. They hadn’t gone as far as the Ramseys had, but it’d still be dickish of Gavin to call them while they were away. He’d been lucky enough as it was that Burnie had still been at the office and hadn’t returned home to finish packing for his trip with Ashley. Everyone was going away it seemed. Everyone except Gavin.

It’s Burnie’s voice that pulls him away from his thoughts.

“Hey Gavin? Gavin?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you not hear what I said?” Burnie asks and Gavin slowly shakes his head. “Oh for- Do you have a place to stay? I mean, Ash and I are going to head out when the storm clears, and I doubt you’d want to go back to Geoff’s place seeing as no one else will be there. He doesn’t get back until the day after Boxing Day, right?” The bespectacled man falls silent when Gavin doesn’t say anything and Gavin watches as his fingers work at the towel around his neck. Minutes that feel like hours pass until Gavin speaks up.

“Yeah and no, I don’t have anywhere to go actually. Didn’t really plan on staying in America for the holidays.” He replies a tad snippily, but if Burnie takes offense, it doesn’t show. Because even if he’d like to, he couldn’t really blame Gavin for being grumpy about not being able to go back to England to see his family for the holidays. During the summer he’d spent about two weeks faffing about with Dan who had been home on leave and during one of those weeks they’d filmed some stuff for Slow Mo Guys, so his trip across the pond wasn’t vacation time so much as work abroad. And Gavin himself had planned his flight and post landing transportation, and to have those efforts blown away by a freak winter storm had to be discouraging.

“What are you going to do then?” Burnie asks and Gavin flicks him an unsure gaze. For a little while he says nothing, the silence mounting until,

“I don’t know.”

“He could stay with me.” Ryan says quick as a whip and Gavin swivels around to look at him. Ryan avoids making eye contact with him however and instead looks to Burnie. Taking that he’d been excluded from the conversation, at least for this moment, Gavin tries to make sense of Ryan volunteering to take him on. His voice had been level, smooth, and almost lazy like it wouldn’t trouble him to have Gavin stay with him. Then again, Ryan’s reputation was built on competence and it’d be pretty easy for someone like him to handle someone like Gavin. It looked good on paper at least.

“Are you sure Ryan?” Burnie asks and Gavin sees Ryan shrug.

“Why not? It’d just be me and my dog back home. The more the merrier I say.” He says this with a wry smirk and Gavin feels the beating of his heart pick up when Ryan finally glances over at him.

“What?” Gavin blurts out and Ryan smiles at him.

“Gavin, I’m volunteering to let you stay with me and you haven’t said a word.” Ryan explains and Gavin tries to swallow past the lump in his throat.

“I-I-”

“What do you say? Being alone during the holidays suck, right? We can at least try to make it better by being alone together.”

“That’s not how that works.” Gavin says and then mentally slaps himself because that’s what he’s concerned about? Instead of commenting on it, however, Ryan graciously continues the conversation.

“That’s still not an answer, Gavin.” Gavin bites his lower lip.

“I wouldn’t object to bunking with you, no.” He says after wrestling with the part of himself that told him it was a bad idea, his gaze falling to the tiles beneath him. How was it a bad idea? The only problem Gavin saw was that he’d be unable to keep his eyes off of his host, unable to stop thinking about him and imagining what it would be like if he stayed with him permanently. His thoughts would have strayed elsewhere had Ryan not regained his attention by clearing his throat. When Gavin looks up from the floor, the grin Ryan gives him makes him feel even better about saying yes.

“Well that settles it then. I’ll take him on Burns, you don’t have to worry.” Burnie just shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything to contest it.

“I’m gonna head home then. Still gotta finish packing.”

Heart thumping in his chest Gavin watches as Burnie spins on his heel and heads for the door.

“Oh hey, Gavin?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll just put your stuff in the Achievement Hunter office. Maybe you can dick around in there while you wait for Ryan.”

“Oh, uh sure.”

It’s a little sad to go back out into the cold after just getting dried off and warm, but it’d be pretty fucking awful of Gavin to let Burnie venture out alone after he took the time to pick him up from the airport. So the two of them leave Ryan behind back inside and trudge their way over to Burnie’s car. After digging his bags out of the trunk, the two of them head back to the building as quickly as they can.

“See you later Gav.” Burnie says to him at the door as he hands Gavin his duffle and Gavin nods.

“Y-yeah,” he starts, teeth chattering, “Thanks by the way.” Burnie scoffs but the grin he gives Gavin is good-natured.

“Hey, it’s not a problem. Just try not to get stuck at the airport during a snowstorm again, okay?” He jokes and Gavin chokes with laughter.

“I-I dunno if I can make any promises.” Burnie’s reply is a smirk and then he turns away from Gavin and heads over to his car. His dark jeans and his dark jacket make him a black speck against all the white and Gavin stares after him for a brief moment before heading inside.

“Burnie gone?” Ryan asks when he gets in.

“Yeah.” He replies.

“All right then, I’m gonna finish up some work and then get you when I’m done. How’s that sound?”

“Top.” Ryan smiles that slightly manic smile of his and Gavin tries not to let on how much it affects him.

“See you in a bit.”

“Yeah, see you.”

\---

Gavin is well into the latter half of Clash of Kings when Ryan comes to get him. When he looks up from his position on the couch he finds Ryan standing in the door in full winter gear, a dark turtleneck sweater contrasting with the dusty gold of his hair and the fucking unbelievable blue of his eyes.

“Ready to go?” He asks with an unfair quirk to his lips, like he sees something in Gavin that he himself can’t see.

“Y-yeah, just let me-” He cuts himself off as he rolls off the couch and lands by one of his bags.

“You okay?” Ryan asks as he comes to stand over Gavin and Gavin nods emphatically. Ryan just sighs and outstretches a hand, hauling Gavin to his feet after he takes hold of it.

“So we’re, uh, heading to your place now, is that right?” Gavin asks after Ryan has let go of him.

“Well I’ve finished everything I had to do, so I don’t see any reason to stay.” Ryan replies with amusement colouring his tone and Gavin tries not to let his embarrassment show.

“Right.” Ryan, the bloody bastard, just chuckles while Gavin tries to ignore his sudden urge to become one with the floor.

They lock up the building and make the trek to Ryan’s car, pile Gavin’s luggage into the trunk and then book it inside the vehicle. He says nothing aloud, but Gavin is sure Ryan feels his gratitude when the heat comes one and, gradually, his teeth stop chattering and his hands stop feeling like they’ve been stored in a deep freeze.

The ride to Ryan’s place is awkwardly silent. It isn’t painfully so as they have the buffer of the radio to fill in the silence, but their conversation is limited to Gavin asking if he can use Ryan’s home phone to make another call to his family so he can explain the situation in person. Ryan says sure and the conversation just… stops. Not spending time together outside of work can do that.

After nearly an hour of driving, thanks to the snow, they reach Ryan’s house. After pulling into the driveway, Ryan throws the car into park and Gavin tries to peek out the windshield to get a glimpse of the place. But he can’t because the snow is coming down fast in fat, fluffy flakes, obstructing his view.

“So here we are.” Ryan says, his voice heard just barely over the grumble of the car engine. Gavin turns away from the windshield and moves to look at Ryan.

“Hm, it’s a nice place. A little snowy though.” Gavin comments and his ears are immediately flooded with Ryan’s laughter.

“Oh, I can say with the utmost confidence that there will be no snow inside. At least I hope so.” Ryan tacks on the last sentence when Gavin gives him a look and the Brit laughs all the harder for it.

“I’ll take your word for it.” They share another laugh and then Ryan turns the engine off. They get out of the car almost in sync and Gavin makes his way to the trunk while Ryan pops it open.

The next few moments are occupied by the two of them bringing Gavin’s stuff into Ryan’s foyer, setting bags at the foot of a staircase. After shucking their coats and hanging them up on hooks by the door, Gavin learns that the staircase leads to Ryan’s bedroom and a guest room where he’ll be staying. Ryan’s aforementioned dog had greeted them enthusiastically at the door, but after a command from Ryan, the canine had taken to trotting after them as they walked up the stairs to put Gavin’s things into the guest room. Once everything is settled in, Gavin sits on the bed and takes a look around.

It’s a good sized room, Gavin thinks. The bed, desk, and other furniture are positioned in a way that makes a good use of the space. A dark wooded wardrobe hugs the wall adjacent to the wall the bed is pushed against, and next to the wardrobe is a window through which Gavin has a clear view of the outside. Now, there isn’t much to look at aside from white, more white, the occasional dark brown of tree trunks jutting through snow, and _more white_ , but Gavin has a feeling that, on a nicer day, the view outside that window is much more visually stimulating.

He watches the snow fall for a few minutes before standing up from the bed. He sheds his sweater and hangs it on the back of the wheeled desk chair and then flops face first back onto the mattress. Too lazy to get up, he struggles to slip his phone from his pocket so he can check the time. December 16th, 7:06 PM the screen seems to declare. If it weren’t for the storm he’d have been up in the air by now, two hours down on his ten hour flight, but here he was stuck in Austin. Suddenly incredibly tired, Gavin’s eyes fall closed and he buries his face in the pillow under his head.

_‘I wonder if mum will be home so I can call and explain to her why I won’t be over. I hate telling people bad news though. Ugh, maybe I’ll call Dan and have him tell her. God-’_

A knock at the door pulls Gavin from his thoughts.

“Hello?” Gavin calls out, but it’s muffled by the pillow and comes out as less of a word and more of a questioning sound. There’s a beat of silence and then Gavin hears the door open.

“Gavin?” Ryan’s voice sounds hesitant to Gavin’s ears and he compares it to how the older man had sounded when he’d first joined in on Achievement Hunter let’s plays. It’s strange to hear such a cautious tone and it sounds foreign to Gavin considering how much Ryan has come out of his shell.

“Yes?” No doubt he looks incredibly frazzled, but if Ryan notices, he makes no note of it.

“I was thinking of making some hot chocolate to warm us up, would you like some?” Gavin wasn’t the biggest fan of sweets, but he did have a sweet tooth, and hot chocolate sounded lovely.

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind a mug.” He says as he tries to sit up. He sees Ryan’s lips quirk in amusement.

“Come downstairs then. You can wait in the living room while I make it. You could even call your family.” Gavin flashes Ryan a grateful grin and then gets up from the bed and makes to follow Ryan out of the room.

\---

With Ryan puttering about in the kitchen Gavin is left to his own devices in the living room. His dog, who Gavin actually wasn’t all that shocked to learn wasn’t named Edgar, keeps him company as he makes the call to his mum. The phone rings once, twice, three times when someone picks up.

 _“Hullo?”_ A distinctly male voice greets and Gavin feels his lips curl in a smile.

“Hey George, it’s Gav. Did you, ah, get my message?” Gavin asks then bites his lip as he waits for his brother to reply.

 _“Message? What mess- oh, right! The one about your flight getting cancelled? Yeah, we got it. That’s some rank news. We were really raring to have you over, s’been a while.”_ Gavin’s heart drops a little at that.

“I know… I would have tried to get a flight on a later day, but everything is being kept on the ground until the snow clears. I was guaranteed a refund though.”  Gavin informs his brother as he idly runs his hands through Ryan’s dog’s thick coat. The action keeps him calm and in the moment, which is fantastic because he’d be rambling on and on to his brother if he wasn’t just the slightest bit distracted. 

 _“Well that’s something…”_ George trails off. _“Want me to tell mum you called?”_ He asks a moment later and Gavin nods just as he realizes George won’t see it.

“Yeah, I just…” When he trails off he hears George sigh knowingly.

 _“Gotcha covered, Gav. Will you call again?”_ George asks and Gavin’s hand stills in the dog’s coat.

“I’ll try.”

_“Okay, bye Gavin.”_

“Bye George.” He hangs up the phone and sighs morosely.

“All that planning for nothing.” He mutters to himself, but then a four legged someone comes up to lick his face. Unable to hold back his laughter, Gavin snickers as he gently pushes the dog off of him. The darling thing was shockingly affectionate, nipping at Gavin’s finger tips when he went to scratch behind his ears and wagging his tail when Gavin booped his nose.

“I’m more of a cat person myself, but you’re a sweet thing aren’t you?” Gavin asks the canine, not really expecting an answer. So when someone scoffs behind him, he starts and turns to look behind him.

“He may look sweet, but when I first brought Bandit home, he chewed through several pairs of shoes before I trained him out of it.” Ryan says as he enters the living room. Even with the new information, Gavin gives Bandit a fond pat on the head before he looks to Ryan again, his eyes lowering from the man’s face to see his arms laden with a tray holding steaming mugs, and a plate of what looks like sugar cookies. The baked goods make him recall a memory and he can’t supress a snicker as he remembers Ryan typing reply to a comment on one of their RT Life videos.

“It’s ‘cookie day’ is it?” He asks as Ryan rounds the couch and sets the tray on the coffee table. The glare Gavin receives lacks any real heat, but his laughter subsides. He leaves the hot chocolate alone for a bit as he reaches for a cookie and takes a bite as Ryan sits next to him. Actually wanting a reply, he side eyes Ryan until a flash of understanding alights in his eyes. 

“Well, a hot drink is good enough on its own, but there’s nothing wrong about having a snack with, is there?” Ryan asks as he takes a cookie for himself. Gavin shrugs and then licks his lips before replying.

“Hm, you’ve got a point there.” He punctuates the statement by pointing at Ryan with what’s left of his cookie before he takes another bite out of it, snapping it in half. The look Ryan gives him is half disbelieving, like he can’t quite wrap his head around that fact that, yes, they did have a brief conversation on whether or not having snacks with hot drinks was, for lack of a better word, okay. It’s the gleam in his eyes that gets Gavin to stop chewing his bite, or to at least slow down as he drinks the sight of Ryan in. See, despite popular opinion, Gavin wasn’t stupid. Or blind. He saw the comments and tweets and posts left by fan girls and amidst the general extolling of passion for ‘Mavin’ or whatever pairing gripped the fan base, there was the occasional post about how ‘hot’ Ryan was, how broad his shoulders were, how his smile seemed to promise things unsaid, and what it would be like to hear his low voice in their ears. Comments like the last two were found more in blog posts, during late night/early morning perusals of the internet at home, but that didn’t make it any less true; at least, not in Gavin’s eyes.

When he was working, day in and day out, Gavin would catch himself looking in Ryan’s direction whenever he was in the AH office. He revelled in the days where, when recording a video, he and Ryan would get to converse with each other about aspects of the game or what not. Instances like the Splinter Cell: Spies VS Mercs video where it was just him, Ryan, Ray and Geoff were his favourite. The juncture of the recording in which he and Ryan were teammates was thrilling and not just because he got to rain death from above as a spy and thus prove that he didn’t completely suck at video games. He genuinely liked working with Ryan, enjoyed having conversations and heated debates with him. Moreover, he enjoyed that Ryan was there. His presence was reassuring, soothing almost like cool waters on a hot day at the beach.

And then there was the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” When Gavin had first heard it, maybe some time in elementary or high school, he’d thought it was bullshit. Like he’d said during podcast number whatever, he was “working on it.” The ‘it’ being his, seemingly dysfunctional, heart. Some time had passed and he was still trying, but he liked to think that he had a better handle on his emotions than he had before. He’d certainly handled them at Michael and Lindsay’s wedding back in May, and Gavin thought he did a good enough job of it that it made mentioning of how he actually did “vom” into a bush later at the after party irrelevant. To be fair he _had_ asked Michael if it was all right for him to get pissed to which Michael had given his, albeit drunken, blessing. And Gavin was an opportunist, or a hedonist according to Ryan. Who was he to refuse?

“Are you usually this deep in thought, or are you taking it upon yourself to really get it through to me that you can think before you speak?” Ryan’s tone is heavy with amusement and breaks through Gavin’s musings such that he snaps his gaze up from where he’d trained it on the floor while he’d been thinking. The sight he’s met with (lop-sided grin, blue eyes narrowed in calculating wonder) makes him feel like his throat has gone dry.

“What?” He chokes out, accent particularly thick, and Ryan does that lip quirk thing again, his smile lifting until Gavin can see what look like dimples. He was used to seeing something else on Ryan’s face. He’d seen the man bust out in laughter when a member of their group fucked up during gameplay, but Gavin was more used to seeing just the barest curl of Ryan’s lips. It was something that Ryan wore when he was entertained; not quite a smile, not quite a smirk, but definitely amused. This one on one showing of joy stirs something in Gavin’s chest, but he tries to ignore it in favour of paying attention to the conversation. 

“I asked you if you were going to drink your hot chocolate, but I guess you didn’t hear me.” Ryan explains and Gavin’s kicks himself mentally as a flush rises to his cheeks.

“God’s sake, uh, sorry.” To gain himself some time to regroup, he makes a grab for the mug closest to him and takes refuge in the sweet smell of the beverage inside of it. It isn’t hot anymore, more warm than anything, but it gives Gavin an excuse not to make eye contact with Ryan, the object of whatever his feelings are, and that is perfectly fine with him.

When Gavin takes a slow sip of the hot chocolate he almost misses the expectant look Ryan gives him as he stares at his mug in surprise. He quickly swallows his mouthful and then takes a much larger sip at which Ryan chuckles. Though he isn’t fond of using the word crush, Gavin can’t help but refer to what he has for Ryan as his heartbeat picks up when he hears Ryan’s laughter. Like with the saying he found it ridiculous that such a little thing could move him, yet here he was, heart ramming in his chest because another guy let out a little laugh.

“So, you like it?” Ryan asks before taking a sip from his own mug. Gavin hums in the affirmative.

“Mm, yeah, what did you do to it?” A quizzical looks takes over Ryan’s face.

“What did I do to it?” Gavin nods and Ryan hums. He watches as Ryan takes a bite from his cookie, an almost contemplative look overtaking his features and Gavin gets the feeling he’s in for a story. He tries, and fails, to not watch as Ryan’s Adam’s apple moves as he swallows his bite, nor can he look away when his tongue sweeps over his lips to catch some stray crumbs. He shifts on the couch, legs coming closer together, but not quite crossing as Ryan launches into his explanation.

“Well, before I worked for Rooster Teeth I did a lot of odd jobs here and there. I never stayed on long, maybe for six months to a year. Just enough to get by, y’know?” Ryan gives Gavin an expectant look so he hums in agreement. “Anyway, I was looking for job ads online and I was getting to a point where I was always frustrated, so I decided to do some random browsing to take my mind off of it. I found the recipe for the hot chocolate through some random link clicking and it looked interesting so I bookmarked the page. I’d forgotten about it until one day, while I was importing my bookmarks to another browser, I found the page with the recipe. After making it whenever the time called for it, I have the recipe down by heart.”

“That’s actually pretty top.” Gavin muses. “And I guess it’s more than called for now, huh?” Gavin asks and Ryan laughs. Things are quiet after that. The two of them eat a couple more cookies until Ryan ends the quiet.

“So Gavin, what about you?” Ryan asks and Gavin takes pause.

“What about me, what?” Gavin lobbies back a bit confused, but Ryan doesn’t seem to mind.

“Do you have a hot drink of choice?” Ryan elaborates before taking a sip from his mug and Gavin lets out a little “oh.” He clears his throat and ignores how his heart thumps at having Ryan’s undivided attention.

“Uh, well, I used to drink tea a lot. Not as much as the stereotypical Brit mind you, but pretty often. Since I moved to Austin I haven’t had it as much and I’ve gotten used to coffee and Red Bull and other caffeinated bevs… I did consider checking out one of those fancy tea stores, but I’ve never really got around to going beyond consideration. That and the atmosphere is just- I dunno…” Unable to find the words to express himself, Gavin falls silent, but the look in Ryan’s eyes tells him that he understands.

Another half-smile from Ryan reinforces that, and then, “I see.”

“Do you ever get homesick?” Ryan asks a moment later and Gavin blinks at the sudden change in topics.

“Do I ever get homesick?” Gavin repeats and Ryan nods.

“You’ve got yourself a little family here with the Ramseys, but I figure you gotta miss England a little, right?” Ryan offers a little explanation and Gavin inclines his head.

“I do miss my family, and I do miss England, but...” When Gavin trails off he takes in Ryan’s attentive expression. It gives him a surge of pleasure for two reasons, the first being that he has, as ridiculous as it sounds, Ryan all to himself. It’s just the two of them and not six, sometimes eight, people crammed into a tiny, often really warm room. With what he’s decided to call his interest in Ryan, Gavin feels a little nervous and delighted all at once and to hide it, he lowers his gaze to his lap where he holds the mug in his hands. The second, and weightier of the two reasons, is that he has someone that is willing to listen to him. He knows that Geoff, Griffon, Burnie, and a bunch of others have his back, but he knows them. Ryan was uncharted territory, all wendy waters that could be thrashed and battered by a storm, but he was also the anchor of Gavin’s set adrift ship.

“Gavin?” Ryan prods gently and Gavin looks up from his lap. As Ryan’s blue, blue gaze holds him in a daze, he swallows down some of the worry he feels that Ryan will judge him. He hadn’t for the tea story, why would he now?

“Uh, I mean, I used to get homesick a lot when I’d first moved here, but that was at the same time when I was really aching to be away from England as well. I explained it in greater detail in that Game Time video I recorded with Burnie a little while ago, but the basis is that Austin was already a second home to me before I ever sent in the visa petition and made the permanent move. Now, I miss my mum and brother and sister, but I don’t think I’d ever want to live back there again. There’s a lot keeping me here.”

“Is there?” Ryan asks with a heavily implied ‘tell me about it’ and Gavin bites his lip before he decides.

‘Fuck it. There’s no reason not to tell him, he’s likely to already know a bit.’ He takes a deep breath, shoulders lifting, and then he exhales as his shoulders droop.

“You’ve already mentioned one; the Ramseys. Griffon and Geoff are like my parents across the pond with Audree as a little sister. Working for Rooster Teeth is another. I don’t have a definitive moment for when I decided that working at the company was my dream job, but I do remember that it was and what it did for me to know that if I hadn’t become so obsessed with Red VS Blue, I’d probably be some full time slow motion cinematographer that constantly had to prove himself to others. There’s a third reason, but I-I don’t really know if I can-” Ryan cuts him off.

“You can say it Gavin, I’ve no room to judge.” Ryan says like he’s making a casual remark, but it has so

Much

Meaning.

“I like someone,” Gavin admits before he can think better of it, “I like someone at the office, but I have no idea how’d they react if I told them.” His eyes fall closed and he squeezes them shut so tightly that he misses when Ryan blinks at him in surprise before a gentle smile takes over.

\---

“Do I get to know who it is?” Ryan asks without trying to pry. When all that Gavin gives him is a wide eyed stare, he takes that as a no.

“Uh…”

“Wanna watch a movie?” Ryan unapologetically changes the topic once again, but this time Gavin is quick to recover.

“Sure.”

Ryan gets off the couch and heads over to his Xbox. After powering it on he grabs a controller and snatches the remote before heading back over to Gavin. He hands Gavin the controller and then sets about changing the input on the TV until they can see the console’s start screen.

“Any preferences?” Gavin asks as he starts up Netflix and Ryan shrugs.

“Anything’s fine…”

They choose something not suited to the season at all. Clicking the thumb stick Gavin chooses an admittedly B rated summer flick to which Ryan raises a brow, but no objections. They’re maybe halfway through the opening credits when Ryan snatches the controller from Gavin’s hands and pauses the movie.

“Ryan?” Gavin asks as Ryan stands.

“If we’re going to watch a movie we should have snacks, right?” Ryan queries in lieu of directly answering. Gavin’s response to this is a look of confusion.

“But we still have the cookies you brought over.” As he’s pointing this out Ryan gives him a ‘look’ and his speech slows. By the time he’s finished speaking Ryan is smiling his half smile and so Gavin licks his lips and gestures for the other man to explain.

“We still have cookies, yes, but between you and me, how long do you think they’ll last?” Ryan asks with a well punctuated smirk and Gavin laughs.

“Well, if you look at things like that, I suppose you’re right. Go on then, Cookie Monster.” Ryan’s smirk seems to widen at the nickname, but he heads to the kitchen without a word. He comes back with a full plate of cookies, two bags of chips, and a six pack of beer. And while those hardly go together, Gavin has no compunctions about getting bevved up with booze so freely offered.

\---

It’s nearing midnight or already passed and they’re maybe two thirds into their third movie when Ryan notices he’s the only one awake. He looks to his right to see Gavin fast asleep and snoring lightly, Bandit curled up at his feet, sandwiched between him and the armrest of the couch. When Bandit snuffles and Gavin shifts a little in his sleep, Ryan can’t help a smile. They’d jumped from a summer flick to an explosion junkie’s wet dream of an action film and then a snooze fest of a documentary that Ryan couldn’t really remember the topic of because the narrator of the film seemed to get stuck on one aspect of the topic before jumping to another without any semblance of transition.

But it’s not as if he’s paying attention to it now. What’s really caught his attention is the curve of dark lashes against Gavin’s cheeks. He’s mesmerized by the rise and fall of a chest covered in an almost alarmingly small sized shirt with an iconic catchphrase emblazoned on it in bright colours, and finds that he can’t look away from reddish lips slightly parted, and sandy brown hair in its usual disarray. Ryan had watched the Slow Mo video where Gavin had filmed the movement of his iris and he’d taken almost every opportunity to observe Gavin’s eye colour in person. Talking with him today had been the perfect opportunity and Ryan had snapped at it with enough zeal to receive wide eyed looks from Gavin when he was caught staring. And God, Ryan wasn’t the most poetic of people, but he was good with words. And yet, Gavin managed to have him tongue tied whenever he tried to come up with adjectives to describe the glorious calamity that was Gavin Free.

In short, Ryan liked Gavin, maybe liked him a lot and he had no idea what to do with that. When he’d first realized his _feelings_ he’d had a bit of panic. In his lifetime, more likely his adult years, all of his serious relationships had been long standing things. Break ups were mostly mutual and if not they were at least amiable. Ryan still kept in contact with one of his ‘old flames’ to this day and counted on her for her quick wit and genuine compassion. The thing was, he’d gotten to know her, and when he did he knew her _well_. It was a friends to lovers sort of deal and while things between him and Gavin appeared to be heading in that direction, everything was different. He worked with Gavin, saw the younger man on a near daily basis, heard the other’s voice in his ear when he edited videos, and heard his laughter live when he bungled up something during recording.

And he was sure Gavin felt at least _something_ for him in return. From what Ryan had seen of Gavin before he’d invited him to bunk over for the holidays, Gavin was a strange mix of fastidious worker and clumsy asshole. He was apt enough at video games to get by, but he got flustered when things didn’t go his way and that involved a lot of garbled noises and confused screaming that was mostly played up for the audience. (The little shit had said it himself that he was up for anything if there was a camera nearby.) This subtle side of Gavin, the dwelling in thought, the story about the tea, and the light flushing of cheeks whenever Ryan stared him down was a completely different animal.

_‘If Gavin were a book, he’d be a National Geographic magazine. Chalk full of breathtaking imagery, yet at the same time filled with weird and oddly fascinating odds and ends.’_

Mind awhirl with thoughts, Ryan is taken from his musings when he feels something fall onto his shoulder. When he checks to see what it is he finds Gavin lightly pressed against him, still lightly snoring and chest heaving with the steady pace of sleep. A flash of movement catches his eye and he sees Bandit still lying at Gavin’s feet but awake, tongue lolling out to the side while soft panting rents the air.

“I think it’s time to get this one to bed, what do you think Bandit?” Ryan asks and his response is an impressive yawn. Ryan grins.

“I’m glad you agree. Can you get down from the couch for me, boy?” Ryan wonders aloud and at the word ‘down’ Bandit hops from the cushions, paws impacting lightly with the carpeted floor.

“Good boy.” He praises his four legged companion as he rises from the couch. He then takes a moment to bring his arms up above his head to stretch and he reaches them as high as they can go until his joints pop. He lets out a little noise of satisfaction then turns to Gavin.

Carefully so as to not wake him, Ryan places one arm under the bends of Gavin’s long legs and under his arms and lifts him from the sofa, shifting him slowly until he has the other man in a comfortable bridal style carry. Then, just as slow and careful as before, Ryan exits the living room and heads for the stairs. He hears the scrape of claws on hardwood flooring as Bandit trots after him, but the sounds stop as soon as he reaches the foot of the stairs. A glance over his shoulder gifts him the sight of his dog sitting at the bottom of the staircase, tail wagging.

“Good boy.” He says again before continuing on his way up the stairs.

He tries to ignore the warmth he feels radiating from the man in his arms, tries to ignore how Gavin’s measured breathing lulls him into a sort of calm that he’d rarely associate with such a chaotic personality. But he can’t help but feel a sense of rightness holding Gavin in his arms, can’t help but enjoy the warmth and ponder upon what it would be like if having Gavin over at his house became a regular thing. His vivid imagination grants him a very appealing image.

As he gets to the top of the stairs and then makes his way to the guest room, Ryan’s mind flashes to Geoff who, as Gavin had told him, served as a father figure while he lived across the pond. Knowing Geoff had been in the army and understanding the training and knowledge his sleepy eyed boss retained from his tenure in the military, Ryan pictures Geoff with a shotgun (much like he had been in that episode of Immersion) giving the classic ‘shotgun speech,’ and he laughs to himself as he reaches Gavin’s room.

Reaching for the door knob proves difficult with a hundred something pounds of sleeping Brit in your arms, but he manages to get the door open. Still trying to maintain that ‘slow and careful’ mindset, he gives the door a gentle nudge with his foot, making sure to put enough force into it that the door opens wide enough for him and Gavin to slip through. His eyes absently take in the room as he lays Gavin on the bed. Save for a camera bag, a sweater that looks well-loved and worn, and the rest of Gavin’s luggage, the room looks hardly any different than it had prior to Gavin’s arrival.

Ryan’s eyes are drawn to the bed once more when he hears the hiss of denim jeans on linen sheets. What he sees is Gavin shifting in his sleep, reaching for a blanket that isn’t there. Cursing under his breath, Ryan vacates the room, goes into the hall and heads for the linen closet. After a brief stint of searching he finds what he’s looking for and takes his prize back to the guest room. He finds Gavin still asleep but rolled onto his side, elbow tucked under the pillows. An inexplicably fond feeling seizes Ryan as he drapes the quilt he’d fetched from the closet in the hall over his slumbering guest. He leaves a moment later, switching off the light and slowly closing the door before heading back down stairs.

The mess left over from their little movie marathon is more than he’s used to, but then again, it was the two of them and not just Ryan who had blasted through two full plates of cookies, two bags of chips, and a six pack of beer. He clears everything from the coffee table with good humour, puts the trash in the garbage bin, and recycles the bottles. After soaking the plates in the sink he sets to putting away the other dishes he’d left in his dishwasher the night before. He stacks bowls and plates and cups together so he can store them in their cupboards quicker. Once all that is done he plants his hands at the edge of the sink and braces himself on his arms, letting his head hang before heaving a tired sigh. When he check the oven clock tells him it’s just passed one in the morning. When he turns around to go back to the living room he finds Bandit sat down in the entry way, watching him. After several minutes of staring Ryan gives in.

“What?” He asks, but Bandit just cocks his head, makes a dog noise, and wags his tail. Ryan lets out an exasperated huff of breath, but he wasn’t expecting much from his four legged friend. When Bandit cracks another wide yawn, Ryan laughs.

“Good talk buddy.” Ryan says. He pats Bandit on the head as he walks passed and into the living room. He changes the input on the TV back to regular cable, switches it off before chucking the remote onto the couch, and then powers down his Xbox. With all that done he heads upstairs for the last time tonight and makes for his bedroom.

\---

He’s in an incredibly comfortable position, at least it feels incredibly comfortable to his tired state, and is just drifting off to bed when a single thought comes to him unbidden. Gavin Free is in his home and will be for the next two weeks until Geoff and his family return on the twenty seventh. That was a fuck ton of time to kill.

“Oh my god, don’t do this.” Ryan hisses to himself. Turning onto his side his gaze is met with the clock on his bedside table. 1:48 AM. Dammit.

“Get your shit together, Haywood.” Ryan grumbles as he turns over onto his other side.

After a lot more tossing and turning, Ryan finally falls asleep at just passed two in the morning. His last conscious thoughts are of Gavin’s eyes and those thoughts follow him into his dreams.

\---

For the next few days Ryan and Gavin just hang out. They watch movies until they get sick of it and then switch to playing video games for hours on end. The atmosphere between the two of them is just like it is at the office, but at the same time it’s different.

Not once do they ever bring up the “who do you like?” conversation from Gavin’s first day at the house, but it lingers in the back of both their minds. The thing is the both of them are unsure about rehashing it. For Ryan he’s curious and wouldn’t mind an answer, and while Gavin wouldn’t mind giving one to Ryan, he feels flighty when he considers what might happen after the truth is out there. The rest of that day is spent clearing snow from outside and then chasing after Bandit in the drifts. They go inside after hours of lobbing snowballs at each other and warm up with Ryan’s signature hot cocoa, play a few more rounds of Spies VS Mercs and then go to bed.

\---

**Saturday Dec. 21 st**

There are three days before Christmas Eve and Ryan can tell Gavin is getting antsy. The younger man says nothing about it, but it shows in his face and demeanour and Ryan wants to put an end to it like yesterday. After eating brunch together, Ryan straight up asks Gavin if anything is bothering him while they clean up.

“Are you okay, Gavin?” Ryan asks as he reaches for the plate Gavin is handing him. Luckily he has a form grasp on it when Gavin’s hand jerks suddenly.

“Am I okay? Yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay?” He asks of Ryan all too quickly and in his head Ryan thinks _‘Aha, there it is.’_

“I’m fine Gavin, but I asked you first. I’ll ask again, are you okay?” Gavin frowns at him.

“I said I was fine, didn’t I?” Ryan puts the plates down and moves toward Gavin. When he takes a step back Ryan steps after him, but he does it slowly. This wasn’t an interrogation; Ryan was just worried.

“You’re fine Gavin, but I asked you if you were _okay._ There’s a difference.” Ryan explains as he presses as close to Gavin as he possibly can without touching the other man. The few inches of height Ryan has over Gavin means the younger man has to look up at him. It also means that Ryan has an unfairly clear view of the long column of Gavin’s neck. His eyes can’t help but catch the bob of Gavin’s Adam’s apple as he swallows, but his gaze flicks upward when Gavin licks his lips.

“There’s a difference? Ryan, you’re not making any sense. Ryan?”

When Ryan hears his name with a question mark tacked onto it he snaps back to reality and realizes he’s got one of Gavin’s slender hands in his. His gaze follows to the loose hold he has on Gavin and briefly wonders if Gavin has ever tried to play the piano. ‘ _He’s certainly got the hands for it.’_

“There is a difference.” Ryan says instead of voicing his thoughts. “It’s only the morning, but I’ve heard you sigh so many times I’ve lost count. Be honest with me, is there anything wrong?”

Maybe it’s the earnestness in his voice, or the way he’s phrased his question, but at that moment he sees something flicker in Gavin’s eyes before the walls come down. At first it’s just brick by brick, but soon there is nothing but rubble and dust floating in the air, the both of them standing amidst it all.

“I-I-” As Gavin cuts himself off, the hand that Ryan is holding tightens until Gavin has a secure grip on his fingers.

“You can say what you want to say Gavin. I’m in no way above you so I can’t judge.” Ryan says encouragingly and Gavin licks his lips again. A moment later he sees Gavin breathe in and then out, tension leaving him as he exhales. Meanwhile, Ryan’s heart booms so loudly in his chest that he worries Gavin will hear.

“I miss my family back in England. It’s the first time I’ve been in America for Christmas and I just-” He stops talking so suddenly Ryan’s heart nearly skips a beat, but as he tries to get his heartbeat under control, he gives Gavin a slow nod and stares at him until they lock gazes.

 _‘It’s okay, I know what you’re trying to say,’_ is the message Ryan tries to convey with his eyes and he waits until he knows Gavin gets it. After what feels like an hour Ryan takes in a deep breath and Gavin breathes in with him. They exhale at the same time and while Ryan still feels his heart drumming, he can tell that the both of them are in a much better headspace to have a serious conversation.

“How about we get everything cleared away and then relocate to the living room so we can talk more on a level with each other?” Ryan suggests and he smiles when Gavin nods. They let go of each other and make short work of clearing the table and loading the dishwasher. Once the last dish is stored away, Gavin closes the dishwasher and turns quickly on his heel and makes for the living room. Ryan just follows after him in silence.

\---

“Since I moved to Austin it’s become a regular thing for me to fly out and visit my mum, brother, and sister during holidays or whenever I have vacation days to spare. I mean, I absolutely love it here in America, but sometimes I just…” Unable to come up with the right words, Gavin trails off and then decides to launch into the second part of his explanation. “I also go over whenever Dan is on leave. I see him even less because he’s part of the forces, but whenever we can get together we usually try to do as much as we can together so when he goes back on tour and I fly back to Austin the both of us don’t feel so shortchanged by time.”

“That’s pretty sensible of you.” Ryan remarks and Gavin lets out a surprised laugh.

“I guess…”

When they lapse into silence again, Gavin begins to see a pattern. For all the talking they’ve done thus far, they really have nothing to say to each other. It’s not for lack of trying; it’s just that their efforts only go so far before they enter into unknown territory. Working together meant seeing each other nearly every day for a determined amount of time. With Gavin staying over at Ryan’s house they saw each other much more frequently and it was obvious that the both of them were still adjusting to that fact.

As Gavin folds his hands together in his lap and interlocks his fingers, he hears the sound of Bandit shifting in his crate. Before Ryan and Gavin had sat down to eat, man and man’s best friend had gone out for a walk. ‘Be back later’ the rest of the note Gavin found stuck to the fridge had said. Eyes still bleary from sleep he had eyed the note until the looping scrawl was recognized as writing and it would take a lot for Gavin to admit that he’d stared for a little longer than necessary when he’d decided he appreciated Ryan’s haphazard penmanship.

“Gavin?” Huh? “Gavin, did you hear me?”

“I’m sorry what?” Gavin asks and Ryan directs an amused smile at him.

“I said I had an idea that might cheer you up.” Ryan replies and Gavin blinks.

“What is it?”

“Well,” Ryan pauses to clear his throat, “it’s more like two ideas and I dunno if you’d be up for the second one, but-”

“Ryan.” Gavin puts a bit of a weighty tone on Ryan’s name and the older man falls silent immediately.

“Right, well the first idea is that you call your family and update them on how you’re doing. Hearing your voice might be good for them and vice versa. You could even call Dan and see if he’s in.” When Ryan doesn’t suggest he call Geoff, Gavin has to hold back a sigh of relief.

“Okay, what’s the other idea?” Gavin asks, but he likes what he hears.

“The second idea on our docket is that we get out of the house and do something, anything. Maybe something that involves physical exertion so we can take our minds off of all of this negativity shit.” Ryan’s nose scrunches up as he finishes explaining and Gavin can’t hide a smile. 

“So what would we do?” Gavin asks with a tilt of his head and a smirk, feeling better already.

“I heard there was a public arena that gets turned into a skating rink this time of year. We could go skating… Can you skate?”

“Um…” He trails off and Ryan shrugs.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter. As long as we get out of the house and do _something_ we’ll be good. You’ll be good.” Ryan says at the last minute and Gavin realizes he’d corrected himself.

“I’ve got to make some calls then.” Gavin says half to himself and half to the open air.

“I’ll get our shit together while you do that then.” Ryan says and then he gets up from the couch and leaves the living room. Gavin hears his footsteps as he goes up the stairs and then nothing.

\---

“…planned my own flight and everything, B.”

Ryan comes downstairs to find Gavin still on the phone. As he passes by the living room to set his stuff down in the foyer, he picks up on the mixed tones in Gavin’s voice. He briefly wonders who Gavin is talking to when the younger man speaks up again.

“Yeah… You think you could get leave again?” Ah. He was talking with Dan. Curiosity sated he heads over to the kitchen to rouse Bandit who had fallen asleep yet again.

“C’mon boy, we’re going for a ride.” Having done his best to train him, Ryan can’t hide a smile when Bandit’s tail begins to wag at the word ‘ride.’ The both of them slip past the living room where things are silent. Peering in, he sees Gavin is still on the phone silent as he, presumably, listens to Dan.

“Really? Top.” More silence.

“Oh definitely. Tell your Gran and Granddad I said hi, will you? Hm? Of course, B. Yeah, bye.”

“Good conversation?” Ryan inquires as he enters the living room with Bandit trotting after him and Gavin turns around at the sound of his voice. 

“There was lot of explaining to do, but now everyone’s up to date. Oh, and Dan and I might get to see each other over the summer so we can probably get a lot of filming done then.” Ryan smiles at the news.

“That’s good. Hey, how about you get ready and then we can head out?”

“Sure, be back in a bit.” As Gavin walks past he gives Bandit a fond pat on the head and then makes for the stairs. Around ten minutes later Gavin comes down dressed in clothes far better suited to the weather.

As Ryan himself had been getting ready, he’d taken a look out his window. It didn’t look as bad as when the storm first hit, but there was still enough snow on the ground that Ryan couldn’t see any of the earth underneath. And there was a good chance it would last into the New Year.

“Got everything?” Ryan asks even though he knows the answer.

“I do indeed have everything.” Gavin replies with a cheeky little wave of a gloved hand.

“Good, then out we go.”

\---

They take a little bit to get loaded up into Ryan’s car, but once everyone is settled Ryan throws the car in reverse and backs out of his driveway. Before they head to the rink, Ryan drops Bandit off at a pet daycare centre. The canine tries to chase after his owner as he tries to leave, but the workers at the centre ply him with toys and treats and so Ryan manages to abscond from the centre and head back to his car where Gavin is waiting for him.

Again they drive in silence with only the radio to break the quiet, but it’s not quite as awkward as it was before. Ten, fifteen minutes later they reach the arena and Ryan pulls into the parking lot, circling a few times until he finds a spot not too far away from the entrance. He pulls into the spot, throws the car into park and then kills the engine. The radio cuts off with it.

“We’re here.” He announces with little necessity. Without the radio as a buffer, the silence was crawling back and he wanted to abate it as much as possible.

“We should get out then, yeah?” Gavin asks, little clouds of steam streaming from his mouth now that the heat was off.

“We should, yes.” Ryan replies a tad awkwardly, but if Gavin notices he says nothing about it.

“Ryan?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we going to get out of the car now?” Gavin asks and Ryan absolutely does not imagine the smirk that curls Gavin’s lips.

“Huh? Um, yeah, yeah. Out. Now.” As they exit the vehicle Ryan hears Gavin giggle before it’s drowned out by the slamming of a car door. Trying to save face, Ryan says nothing as they make their way over to the building. When he hears Gavin laugh again a little while later, he decides hearing Gavin laugh is worth a little embarrassment.

\---

As they both lack their own skates, they rent a pair for themselves and lace them up at the stands that surround the rink. As Ryan slowly does up his laces, a flash of movement catches his attention and he looks up enough to see Gavin deftly threading laces through the holes and around the hooks.

“Have you done this before?” Ryan asks and Gavin’s progress comes to a dead stop as his head snaps up to look at Ryan.

“What, what have I done?” Gavin asks perplexedly and Ryan feels his brow furrow.

“I asked you back at the house if you’d skated before and you didn’t give me an answer. I’d like one now. Have you skated before?” Gavin shrugs.

“Once or twice back in England. Dan is absolute garbage at it so the times we did go it was only for an hour or so, but yeah, I’ve skated before.”

“Okay then.” Ryan says and then he goes back to lacing up his skates. When Gavin doesn’t move, however, he stops again. “Hey Gavin?” He asks.

“Yeah?” Gavin chirps back, head cocking to the side in a decidedly birdlike manner and Ryan is taken aback for a moment.

“Oh uh, well, if you’re done with your skates you can go ahead and start skating now. I’ll just catch up with you when I’m done.”

“You sure?” Gavin asks with uncertainty colouring his voice, but Ryan waves him off.

“Yes, I’m sure. Now go. We didn’t come here to watch me lace skates.” Gavin lets out a hearty bout of laughter at that and Ryan tries to ignore the _something_ (something that feels a lot like pride) that stirs in his chest when it catches up to him that he is the (sole) cause.

Sketching a mock salute, Gavin grins and says, “See you on the ice, Rye-bread,” and then leaves before Ryan can say anything against the nickname.

\---

When Ryan makes it onto the ice he takes a moment to look around the rink for Gavin. A few minutes later he finds the younger man sketching figure eights into the ice with his blades.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Ryan lets out as Gavin does a little spin. He wobbles a bit, which is to be expected, but he would never have thought that Gavin would be so capable on such a slippery surface. It was a regular thing to hear of or see Gavin trip over his own feet (moreover to hear others laughing at him for it), so to see him so graceful was quite surprising.

Occupied by his thoughts, Ryan almost misses Gavin coming over to him. A veritable ball of energy, their legs knock together as Gavin collides with him. They both run the risk of toppling over, but Ryan catches Gavin in time, stabilizing the both of them.

“Hey Ryan.” Gavin says a moment later.

“Once or twice, huh?” Ryan asks instead of greeting him back and a confused look steals over Gavin’s features.

“Huh?”

“You’re no Olympian, but I saw that spin you did earlier.” Ryan informs him and Gavin takes on the look of a deer in headlights.

“Oh, um, well…” Ryan just raises a brow while he settles his hands on Gavin’s hips.

“I might’ve done a few classes as kid.” Gavin admits after a while and Ryan snorts in disbelief.

“Why would you hide that?” Ryan inquires and Gavin shakes his head and gives a one shoulder shrug.

“Dunno. I guess it’s just that I’ve got the reputation of office klutz, so I guess I just-” ‘ _Oh no, no you don’t.’_

“Hey Gavin?” Ryan interrupts and Gavin blinks his lovely, lovely eyes owlishly.

“Yeah?” Gavin asks back, voice barely above a whisper and Ryan tightens the grip he has on the younger man.

“Don’t sell yourself so short. You can be a tad asinine at times, but you’ll be doing yourself a disservice if you subscribe to that. Everyone has their stupid moments. Just focus on your strengths, hm?” Ryan suggests and Gavin nods and then their foreheads are touching, the both of them closer than they’ve ever been before.

This close up Ryan can see every facet and burst of colour that make up Gavin’s eyes. Icy blue-green, and a colour that reminds him of well-aged whiskey, Ryan is confronted with the fact that he may very well love Gavin, tornado of dumb though he may be.

_‘I’m seeing stars and they’re all in his eyes…’_

“Ryan?” Gavin breathes out and a plume of steam fans Ryan’s cheeks.

“Yes Gavin?” The man in question gnaws at his lower lip.

“We’re, uh, kinda still in the middle of the rink.” Wait what? Fuck, he was right.

They separate reluctantly and go back to skating, avoiding making eye contact with some of the other skaters that gave them brief, wondering looks.

Later, when they’re back at home (god that sounded amazing) and watching some over televised but no less classic Christmas special on TV with Bandit dozing at their feet, Ryan will sneak glances at Gavin whenever he feels the other might not be looking. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, a majority of the time Ryan chooses to look just as Gavin chooses to chance a peek and they end up making eye contact for what is truly a handful of seconds, but for what feels like hours.

\---

The couple days after they’d gone to the skating rink, the two of them decide, perhaps simultaneously, to push the boundary and give into what they’re feeling. It goes like this;

At breakfast on the twenty second, Ryan makes Gavin tea, using the Slow Motion Tea video as reference for how he likes it. When Gavin gives a thumbs up mid-sip, Ryan’s heart swells with pride once more.

With a few hours to kill before lunch they dick around in Minecraft on the Xbox, preferring to share the controller rather than use two. They build a little shelter together and when Ryan leaves to go to the washroom, while he’s gone, Gavin fences some cows in a group and then digs the earth from beneath them, effectively trapping them in a four by four hole. When Ryan gets back and takes a look at the screen, he doubles over in laughter and Gavin joins in.

When evening rolls around, they have dinner at the dining room table. They sit across from each other and twine their legs together underneath. Their meal gets cold, but their hearts are warm, and they ignore the chill of the food as they pick off each other’s plates, sharing mischievous grins and giddy looks.

On the morning of the twenty third, Ryan sleeps in, but wakes up to the smell of something cooking. Venturing down the stairs and into the kitchen while still rubbing sleep out of his eyes, he’s greeted with the sight of Gavin flipping a pancake in the air.

“You can cook?” Ryan asks after the confection lands in the pan. Gavin tosses him a boyish smile.

“I have the recipe ingrained in my head thanks to my Grandfather. He was a cook and taught me a few things.”

“Huh.” When Gavin snickers at that, Ryan’s heart swells and he embraces the feeling.

After lunch they take Bandit out and watch him bound in knee high drifts, snow crusting onto his fur. They stay out for a couple hours and then head home and warm up with; you guessed it, hot chocolate. 

Before they go to bed, Gavin convinces Ryan to put up a few decorations. He acquiesces on two conditions. One; that they be minimal, and two; that Gavin would be responsible for taking them down later. Pouting at the latter term, but still agreeing, they hang up tinsel and other fixings. Ryan almost draws a line at mistletoe, tries reasoning with Gavin that it wouldn’t see any use, but Gavin just fixes him with a stare until it dawns upon him.

“Oh, right.”

“You went to college, right?”

“Oh fuck off.” Ryan complains, but Gavin just laughs him off.

“Sure, sure, Mr. Genius Man.”

\---

**Tuesday, Dec. 24 th**

Like the idiotic fuckers they are, they decide to wait until Christmas Eve to buy the shit they need for the occasion. Nevertheless, they go to the mall, split up to cover more ground, but not before agreeing to meet up at the entrance they came in from.

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” Ryan asks and Gavin nods.

“Gotcha. Now go.”

\---

It’s an hour before closing and Gavin, arms laden with bags of things he was responsible for buying, has stopped in front of a pop culture store. For the last few minutes he’s been debating on whether or not he should go in, taking a step forward before coming to a stop before he can get anywhere. He’s very close to just leaving so he can meet Ryan at the entrance, but then he sees them; key chains, all sorts of key chains, from different franchises. Chief among them are Minecraft mobs, hostile to non-hostile, but he zeros in on a brown lump that he knows is a cow.

“Hello Edgar.” Gavin says to himself under his breath. Not more than five minutes later he’s made a purchase and is now heading to the meeting place.

\---

They make two trips altogether to bring what they’ve bought into the house and, after shedding their coats and scarves and other winter gear, they set to putting everything away. Unbeknownst to Gavin, Ryan had bought him something, a little piece of literature he was sure Gavin would enjoy. He secrets it away so Gavin won’t see and then returns to putting their purchases away.

\---

“It’s bloody Christmas Eve.” Gavin proclaims like he’s just realized it, but Ryan knows where he’s coming from.

“Indeed it is, Gavin. Indeed it is.” Gavin huffs at his sarcastic tone, but Ryan sees his lips twitch with held in laughter, so he knows he’s in the clear.

They’re curled up on the couch together, almost as close as they can be, and are in the middle of watching a rerun episode of Breaking Bad. It’d been known that Ryan was one of the few people at the company that hadn’t watched the show and while he had vague interest in it, he really didn’t give a shit if he got ‘spoiled.’ And since Gavin had already watched every episode, he didn’t really care either.

“I’m the one who knocks.” Gavin intones along with White, but his tone reeks of mock tension and Ryan guffaws.

“Should I be afraid?” Ryan queries and Gavin snorts. In control of the remote, he mutes the TV and turns around to look Ryan in the eyes. He stares for a bit before making a face and shrugging.

“Nah, you’re the Mad King, remember?” Gavin says as he turns the volume back on, attention back to the show.

“You put one cow in a hole…” Ryan mutters.

“That’s BS and you know it,” Gavin says without looking at him. “‘Edgar is the one in the hole.’ You said that yourself, you barmy sausage. Didn’t matter if it was ‘the Edgar’ or just some random cow, they were all Edgar.”

“Always Edgar.” Ryan whispers as he buries his face in Gavin’s neck and the other grins wide.

“God’s sake, you can be so creepy sometimes.”

“You love it anyway.” Ryan says without thinking and Gavin looks down at him in surprise.

For one terrifying moment, time seems to stop. Convinced he’s fucked up, Ryan comes to the decision to pull away from Gavin, but when he makes a move, Gavin grabs onto him.

“I do actually. I do love it. I love that you’ve got your little niche with us, I love what you bring to recordings, I love what you add to AH’s dynamic, but dammit, I love it most that you’re you.”

They stare and stare and stare at each other until Ryan looks away, heat rising to his cheeks. He doesn’t look away for long, however, as Gavin takes his chin in hand and turns his head back around until they’re looking at each other again.

“Your statement, Mr. Haywood?” Gavin inquires softly and Ryan answers him with a kiss. It’s just a soft pressing of lips, but Gavin moves until he’s practically in Ryan’s lap while Ryan brings his hands up to cradle Gavin’s face. He shivers when he feels Gavin’s hands slide under his shirt, slightly chilled fingers splaying over his back as they press closer and closer and closer still.

_‘There’s no need to try and climb inside, you already have a place…’_

When they break apart they’re panting and in need of air, but when Ryan looks up at Gavin (he has no choice as Gavin straddles his lap) he takes in the wild hair, bright eyes, and impish grin he’s come to love and he feels something slot into place.

“Bedroom?” Ryan asks without preamble and Gavin just stares at him.

“What?” He asks and Ryan leans up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Just so we can lie together. It’s gonna be freezing tonight and one of the best ways to keep warm is body heat.” Gavin narrows his eyes suspiciously at that, but a smirk is still playing about his lips.

“Really now?” Gavin practically purrs as he loops his arms around Ryan’s neck.

“Yes, I’m absolutely positive. But we can check the weather if you want reassurance.” Ryan teases and Gavin presses in to nip at his ear. He snorts as Gavin’s hair tickles at his nose.

“Hm, I’ll think I’ll take my chances.”

“Such a brave soul you are to trust yourself with the Mad King.” Ryan says as if he were extolling praise and Gavin laughs.

“C’mon you sod.”

They turn off the TV and leave Bandit to sleep in the living room and then head upstairs to Ryan’s room. True to Ryan’s word, they just lie together under the covers, legs tangling together as they spoon.

They fall asleep like that, holding each other as moonlight spills through the window, rays slitting through the blinds.

\---

**Tuesday, Dec. 31 st, 11:29 PM **

It’s New Year’s Eve and everyone is at Burnie’s house to celebrate the occasion. The host of the party and Geoff take care of the food while Griffon and Ashley mix the drinks and Gavin would be drunk off his ass right about now if it weren’t for the fact that he wants to kick the New Year off in his right mind. Since Geoff had arrived back in Austin on the twenty seventh, he’d returned to the Ramsey residence and as such he and Ryan had come to the part separately, but the other man was never far, always in the corner of Gavin’s vision. That’d been a little while ago though and the last time Gavin had seen him he’d been chatting with Lindsay, am easy grin lighting his face that made Gavin feel unbelievably lucky. He had no idea where Ryan was now. 

Sitting in on the couch Burnie’s living room with Barbara, Kerry and Miles, Gavin swirls his one and only bottle of beer by its neck before taking a swig. He licks his lips and looks around, green eyes roving, but Ryan is nowhere to be seen.

“You looking for someone, Gavvers?” A voice from behind Gavin asks and he turns around to see Michael grinning at him.

“Maybe.” Gavin answers cryptically and Michael frowns with feigned sincerity.

“You’re not gonna tell me?” Michael asks as he comes around to perch on the armrest. Gavin shrugs.

“Pfft, okay then. Hey, want another beer?” For a second Gavin really considers it, but then he sees who he’s looking for behind Michael and his decision is made.

“Nah, s’my resolution.”

“What is?”

“To not get sloshed on the first day of the new year.” Gavin replies and Michael’s choppy laughter fills the air. Gavin grins at his boy’s obvious inebriation.

“Really?” Gavin bobs his head.

“Yup. Second of January’s fair game though.” Gavin says with candor and Michael’s laughter is louder this time around.

“That’s my boi.” Michael says and then he’s off, mixing with the crowd.

“Are you really going to get drunk the next day?” Another voice asks, but this time Gavin doesn’t turn.

“Maybe.” He says, an echo of his reply to Michael and Ryan’s low chuckles fills his ears.

“You’re rather obstinate tonight.” Ryan says directly into his ear, voice low so that no one but Gavin can hear what he’s saying.

“That’s part of my charm then, innit?” Gavin fires back and Ryan chuckles again.

“Maybe.”

\---

**11:58 PM**

“C’mon Gavin, you’re gonna miss it!” Barbara shouts as she drags him from the kitchen into the living room where a live feed is broadcasting the New Year festivities occurring in downtown Austin. Barbara had dragged him in at the perfect time Gavin notices as he spies the time display on the TV. 11:59.

“Everyone get ready!” Someone shouts.

“Ten!” Gavin removes himself from the crowd by the couch and starts to make his way to Ryan on the other side of the room.

“Nine!” The crowd roars.

“Eight!” He was almost there.

“Seven. Six. Five. Four!” He could see Ryan smiling at him.

“Three!”  

“Two…” Gavin makes it over and reaches out to him.

“ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Gavin is sure everyone is yelling or trying to talk over one another, but all Gavin is concerned with is the man in front of him.

_‘Falling, falling, falling in love. It’s a beautiful feeling.’_

“Happy New Year, love.” Gavin mouths before Ryan pulls him in for a kiss.

“Happy New Year, Gavin.”

\---

The end~ 


End file.
